- QPOC NB
- 43 years old
- based in Berlin, Germany
- long time therapy go-er
- fat/body positive and affirming
- special interest in working with people who are new to Pilates, injured, alienated from their body for any reason, working on trauma recovery, and suspicious of the “fitness” industry
In 2010, I started down the road of recovery from trauma and addiction.
First coming to Buddhist instruction through Pema Chödrön and then to Butoh dance, I was invited back to my body and experiencing heavy emotions through a somatic medium.
Butoh is a contemporary Japanese dance/theater form. Butoh has been described as haunting, meditative, death-like. There is a quality of Butoh which reaches for and touches the outbound spirit. In Butoh, we are constantly dealing with the wounded body, the body on the edge of crisis. For this reason, Butoh has an element of somatic therapy to it–not its aim, but its byproduct.
Butoh lead me to trauma-informed instructor training. I watched so many people in Butoh workshops (and myself!) have difficult somatic processing moments, but without proper support and facilitation.
It made me want to be that teacher, in service of my students.
In 2020, I began Comprehensive Pilates Certification with Peak Pilates. I first encountered Pilates practice after a car accident in 2011, as it was an integral part of my physical therapy. The founder of Pilates said, “all change begins with movement and movement heals”. I absolutely love this quote. I’ve experienced this first hand, and seen it again and again in others. By engaging with and changing the body, we change our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change our way of being in and engaging with the world.
In 2021, I completed my certification through Embody Lab in Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy. I’ve done hundreds of hours of training through the Somatic Experiencing media library, live and recorded trainings with Professional Education Systems Institute for clinicians, and the Academy of Therapy Wisdom. In 2023 I obtained my Clinical Telemental Health Provider certificate in providing EMDR treatment.
I show up with a beginner’s mind and a curious, compassionate stance.
Yet, I balance this openness with a confidence that I can hold space for any client, no matter how they show up to our sessions or how they progress throughout.
Now 43 years old, I’m so very grounded in myself and am available to my community as a queer elder. I’ve been on low-dose testosterone for 5 years, and am clear in my non-binary trans-androgynous identity. I attend a queer-lead, god-optional, NYC based Shul, who are very welcoming of this Arab Jew and profoundly integrate ceremony and ritual in their programming. I also attend services at the Buddhist Temple in Berlin and online with Dharma Punx Brooklyn.
“A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.”
"Cyan coached me through a particularly rough period when herniated discs and sciatica made it difficult to do the most basic movements.
They adapted our work together for different phases of my fitness and health journey, and always challenged and encouraged me. Cyan is extremely conscious of body politics, dis/abilities, and mental health needs. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend them to everyone and their own special needs. Cyan will be your greatest cheerleader!"